Season 2 Episode 26 – How to Stop Managing and Start Partnering


“When you manage another person’s commitments for them, you rob them of the opportunity to manage their own.” – Kari Granger

Sure, we’re happy to engage in partner-based leadership when things are going well…but as soon as something goes wrong we slip right into managing the issue “back into line!” We’re left agitated and our “partners” are left defeated, with no option to regain their footing in the project or the relationship. Join Kari Granger and Paul Adams as they highlight the meaningful steps to take the next time you encounter a breakdown, including practical language that can help you navigate these moments with partnership — for your sake and theirs.

In This Episode:

00:52 – Introducing today’s topic: how to navigate breakdowns with partnership

02:20 – Paul speaks to a recent breakdown within his social media marketing team

04:48 – The importance of proactive accountability

07:55 – Kari analyzes Paul’s experience with his social media marketing team breakdown

09:12 – The difference between a breakdown and a problem

13:06 – Curating the proper response to a breakdown

15:31 – Kari expounds on how to take a serious approach while relating to partnerships in a positive manner

17:04 – The importance of allowing others to manage their commitments

19:40 – Paul invites the audience to go back and listen to Episodes 14, 15, 16 and 17 from Season 1

21:43 – Watching the “shoulds”

23:40 – Paul challenges the audience to take on breakdowns by going back to the original partnership and promise in order to remedy the situation

24:35 – Kari shares insights as to the proper language to use when dealing with breakdowns and problems


“When we tell ourselves the story, ‘It shouldn’t be this way,’ it negatively impacts our mood; it negatively impacts the stories we tell ourselves; and it negatively impacts how effective we can be in the situation.” – Kari Granger 

“Is it valid? Do you have a right to be agitated? One hundred percent. But, is that going to have you perform inside of this breakdown? No. And, is that going to support their performance? No.” – Kari Granger 

“When you manage another person’s commitments for them, you rob them of the opportunity to manage their own.” – Kari Granger 

“Approach the conversation with both your high expectations and a mood of partnership. Come with the expectation that they will resolve this and even delight you in the resolution!” – Kari Granger 

“When I manage the problem, partnership disappears. The other person can — at best — have me no longer upset with them, but they can’t win and they know that.” – Paul Adams 

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Kari’s Website

Paul’s Website

Online Accountability Course

Paul’s Other Podcast: Your Business Your Wealth 

Love and Logic 

Season 1 Episodes on Coordinating with Precision
Critical Components of Partnership-Accountability


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Our work is mosaic art. We read, study, and practice many philosophies, methodologies, and modalities of human performance, to ensure that our approach best serves our clients. We would like to acknowledge all of the thought leaders and organizations, whose ground-breaking work has influenced the Granger Network approach – especially Fernando Flores, Jim Selman, Michael C. Jensen, Julio Olalla, Pluralistic Networks, The Newfield Network, and the Strozzi Institute.

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