Season 2 Episode 22 – How to Mess Up and Actually Improve Your Relationships


“Our mess ups are an opportunity to connect with and address the fundamental cares of the people we’re connected with. And, if that’s not foundational to leadership in our lives, I don’t know what is.” – Kari Granger

Whether it’s in business, our personal relationships, or life in general, we all make mistakes. It is how we respond to these mistakes that makes the difference in our relationships. Accountability is at the crux of remedying our mistakes. Often times, when we fess up, level up, and go beyond what is expected, we create a stronger sense of trust from those who have been directly impacted by our mistakes. Join Kari Granger and Paul Adams as they speak to the power of owning up to your mistakes and the capacity to be vulnerable as a strategy for improving and deepening relationships.

In This Episode:

00:48 – Introducing today’s topic: How to Mess Up and Actually Improve Your Relationships

03:00 – The example of Paul’s missed meeting with Kari and her husband

05:12 – How Paul went above and beyond to make up for his mistake

06:33 – An interesting hotel case study on customer service

07:39 – The bed and breakfast example

09:15 – What it means to ‘level up’

10:34 – Owning up to the responsibility of your shortcomings or mistakes

12:17 – How our mistakes are a function of us not keeping our word

14:09 – The power of owning up to our mistakes

15:38 – The capacity to be vulnerable while maintaining one’s own sense of self

16:52 – Paul challenges the audience to level up by thinking about the needs of others and caring for their concerns


“Our relationship was actually elevated. We felt so taken care of, so acknowledged that I think if he had never messed up, our relationship wouldn’t be as elevated as when he did mess up and handled it the way he did.” – Kari Granger

“The company ended up with five star reviews because they messed up, they fessed up, and then they leveled up.” – Kari Granger

“How counterintuitive is it that I could break my promise and create more trust. Don’t I create trust by keeping my promise? How does that happen?” – Kari Granger

“Create completion by leveling up in the area where you messed up. Address their fundamental cares.” – Kari Granger

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Kari’s Website

Paul’s Website

The Mission Control Productivity and Accomplishment Course

The Bardary, Inc.

Paul’s Other Podcast: Your Business Your Wealth 


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Our work is mosaic art. We read, study, and practice many philosophies, methodologies, and modalities of human performance, to ensure that our approach best serves our clients. We would like to acknowledge all of the thought leaders and organizations, whose ground-breaking work has influenced the Granger Network approach – especially Fernando Flores, Jim Selman, Michael C. Jensen, Julio Olalla, Pluralistic Networks, The Newfield Network, and the Strozzi Institute.

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